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Journal – About Me April Challenge (Day 14)

by on April 14, 2017

April 5th, 2017

Hey there, people!
How are you all doing? Today, as you receive this, it should be the Friday right before Easter! I hope y’all get a lot of chocolates! Or if you don’t like it, well, I hope that you’re getting as much rest as possible, so that at least this holiday is worth it! As for me, well we’re probably going to celebrate in church, as we do every year, haha. Let’s start today’s prompt:

Day 14: Describe kindness

For some reason, I’ll talk about this one first. There’s kindness towards oneself. Let’s be honest, we can be pretty hypocritical? We are kind to others when they make mistakes, we reassure them, we tell them it’s not that bad, they’ll do better, and the most important part of errors is that we need to learn from them. But on the other hand, we then aren’t as nice, when we make the same mistakes.

It has happened throughout this past year when my coworker, Altaria, makes a mistake. It can be about writing the name of a kid wrong, or it can be about making a mistake in explaining an art craft to the children. When I correct her, she thanks me and feels pretty much mortified, because she’s the adult – she’s older than I am, and in many ways, she is a lot more experienced than I am in life – but she’s the one who made the mistake. I often tell her as gently as possible not to feel the way she feels, because human error is quite normal. Her emotionally stable self takes over after that small moment, she moves on.

Me, on the other hand, the moment I make a mistake – however small – I freeze. In paranoia, I think: ‘What if this person has seen my blunder?! What are they thinking right now?!‘ (Side note: I know, I know they probably are too self-absorbed to even notice. And they’re probably sympathizing, if they do notice… But in that particular moment? Those rational, logical thoughts elude me). In any rational situation NOT involving me, myself and I, I can be calm and act accordingly. When I’m frozen with fear or panic or shock, I’m also wrecked with self-doubt. Every mistake pulls me closer to the fact that I may be an impostor. That I’m just pretending that I’m good at this job, when really I’m not. And it makes me wonder if I really can learn from my mistakes. What if I repeat it over and over again?

So really, being kind to oneself is a thing [and a thing I’m still learning to do, thanks to my coworkers, who have, directly or indirectly, helped me grow as a person who learned to less care or over-worry [maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, or because I’m gaining experience on how to live properly], and my wonderful friends]? Cut yourself some slack, don’t be like me. Be like Altaria.

Now, as for kindness towards others. It’s also a huge thing. It’s a universal value that just about anyone should have, whether they are religious [you’ve heard of overlapping values in religions, too? Phew, it’s not just me. This is just an observation on my part, though, not really a phrase I’m throwing there to cause some kind of comment, flaming or stuff, chill! Chill!] or not. Be generous, help out when you can, if you can (no one wants you to help out and make it worse!), and don’t expect anything in return.

I like to believe that I am not necessarily nice to people, or generous, or donate my time, because I want eternal salvation of any religion, or because I can get free food out of it (it’s probably this because I’m 100% evil), I think I don’t want anything in return for what I do, but I’m definitely not the epitome of kindness (again, I’m so very evil, don’t listen to me), so you should probably not take my definition completely.

However, aren’t we all sort of Agents of Order [or at least, we should try to be?], which means that we should ensure that there’s good in this world? After all, we were blessed with so many things: a roof, food, a working brain, a working body, etc. why not pay it forward? In any way that you can, even if it’s just for a bit, even if it’s just in the most simple of forms: being nice to someone who is having a bad day?

I think that’s about it out of me, I’m probably preaching a lot, because now this post is way past 500 words. Be kind to one another, be with each other as you’d like others to be with you.

Unless it’s something non-consensual, in which case, don’t do it.


And that has got to be it out of me today!
See y’all later!
ponyta_back_gbc ponyta_back_gbc Ponyout! 


From → Challenge

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